If the title prompted a silent chuckle, you can bet you’re not alone. Every PM knows the tightrope walk between being a thorough communicator and becoming that dreaded pest, a challenge that doesn’t discriminate by experience. That moment of hesitation—whether to voice your thoughts or stay silent—can be agonizing. And yet, despite understanding the critical role of communication, we often pause, question, and sometimes miss our chance to speak up.
But if the importance of communicating universally acknowledged, why do we often find ourselves holding back?
Why We Under Communicate
In working with a group of PMs to identify the roots of project derailments, the answer was surprisingly obvious to them: a breakdown in communication. It’s a recurring theme I’ve observed across countless post-mortem reviews, where inadequate or poor communication frequently lands in the top three reasons for a project falling short of its potential.
It’s Obvious
Here’s an experience shared by one PM:
“Our client requested we postpone design work on a feature pending the review of upcoming user research findings. Despite this ask, our team proceeded with conceptual designs, assuming the feature’s inclusion was a given. Ultimately, the feature was eliminated, leading to a regrettable waste of time on concepts that never saw the light of day.
At the time I thought it was clear that we should hold-off but clearly it wasn’t.
Addressing what seems obvious is challenging. We often bypass it, presuming it’s universally understood. The hesitation to voice such thoughts, for fear of being met with dismissive eye-rolls, can silence us.
Yet, acknowledging the value in highlighting the obvious, even amidst apprehension of skepticism, requires a shift in perspective. Rather than viewing it as a test of one’s own acumen, it should be seen as a chance to enhance collective clarity. I refer to this approach as the “obvious ice breaker.”
For instance:
“Can we pause for a sec to see if my understanding aligns with everyone else’s. Are we all in agreement that Jim expects us to delay any design efforts for the feature until after we’ve reviewed the user research findings?”
A unanimous “yes” in response not only confirms your interpretation but likely resonates with at least one person who appreciates the clarification.
On the other hand, varied answers reveal what was presumed to be obvious might not be universally recognized, providing a vital opportunity for alignment. Whether it turns out everyone else understood differently or you misinterpreted the situation, it’s a collective step forward.
It’s Sensitive
Navigating sensitive topics requires a delicate touch, especially during moments of tension or stress. Here’s another illustrative example from a fellow PM:
“As we neared a critical feature release, the team was pushing hard, feeling confident about our timeline despite an upcoming long weekend. Concerned about potentially souring the mood, I hesitated to bring up the holiday’s impact on our deadline.
As I feared, the dev team had not considered the holiday and we missed the deadline and we lost the Trust of our Client.”
In high-pressure situations, there’s a natural inclination to try to ease the tension. However, it’s crucial to remember that your role isn’t to absorb this stress but to steer focus towards our shared objectives. As PMs, it may sometimes feel like we’re imposing tasks on others, and there’s a reluctance to add to the team’s burden. Yet, reframing the conversation to emphasize common goals can shift the perspective from individual imposition to collective effort.
Consider addressing sensitive issues by anchoring the discussion in the larger goal, as illustrated by this approach:
“I understand we’re all working hard towards the deadline next Friday, but I’ve just realized Monday is a holiday. Could this affect our release schedule? If so, I’m ready to discuss adjustments with our client to ensure we have the necessary time without compromising our work quality.”
This approach does more than acknowledge the team’s hard work; it affirms your dedication to both the project’s outcome and the team’s morale. Addressing a potential oversight like the holiday not only preemptively tackles a likely delay but also positions you as a proactive problem-solver. By volunteering to coordinate with the client, you offer a tangible solution, emphasizing a collective effort towards success. Such initiatives can unify the team, bolstering a sense of shared purpose and resilience amidst challenges.
It’s Scary
Navigating potentially controversial topics can feel precarious, especially when egos or office politics come into play. The level of fear can vary widely across different types of organizations. Consider this scenario shared by a PM:
“During a status review with our CEO, where he offered help, I hesitated to voice concerns about unreasonable client demands, fearing it might reflect poorly on my competence.
Looking back, speaking up then could have preempted the challenges that happened later.”
In this scenario, the PM feared that highlighting difficulties with client management might undermine her capability in front of her CEO and whole team. Yet, she overlooked the collective impact these demands had on her team, an impact that could have been mitigated with the CEO’s intervention. The key is to see such moments not as personal tests but as opportunities for collective problem-solving.
Here’s one approach to handling this next time,
“I’m proud of the progress we’ve made but we’re running into some challenges with conflicting feedback and last-minute requests. Could we discuss aligning expectations with them? A brief conversation might be all we need to get alignment on expectations.”
This approach positions you not as incapable but as a strategic thinker, concerned with the project’s success and the team’s efficiency. It demonstrates proactive leadership and a commitment to doing the right thing, asking for help when needed.
Bringing up such issues, especially when an opening is provided, shows engagement and foresight, traits that contrary to what one might assume, are valued by anyone in a leadership role.
By addressing potential problems early, you not only prevent them from escalating but also foster a culture of openness and continuous improvement.
Speak Up, Worry Less
If there’s one takeaway here, let it be that speaking up, even when it feels uncomfortable, is an important and necessary part of what we do. From the “obvious” misunderstandings to “sensitive” hesitations and what may feel like stepping into “scary” territory, the lesson is clear: your voice matters and can make all the difference.
Developing the courage to communicate openly and in key moments creates opportunities for alignment and progress and can inspire others at the same time.
So next time you find yourself overthinking it, remind yourself to lean into the pause and make some space for a conversation to happen; the impact might be more significant than you imagine.
APPITY SNACKS 